just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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