Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
