She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize