he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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