There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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