you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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