This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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