At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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