dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
