gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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