So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
