plz talk dirty to me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
