I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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