This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
