he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
