just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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