...so i touched it.
Your dad touched me again.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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