have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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