While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
