Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
