Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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