Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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