she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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