Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
