I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
