You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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