just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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