What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I love you. Go after that dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
