Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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