Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
