I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
