I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Shame - the story of my life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
