It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
