I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize