I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
