oh god the rape fog is back!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
