My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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