Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
