after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
