SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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