how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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