oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
