There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
