My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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