just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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