Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize