It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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