Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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