Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
