Define "chronic" masturbator.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
