I just saw a hot homeless man
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The air taste purple.
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