i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
