I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Moan for me like Helen Keller
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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