woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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