ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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