Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize