so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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