I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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