also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
