Where are you?
In a non slutty way
home. puking in laundry basket.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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