i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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