No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
