I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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