So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
