The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Two words: nipple clamps
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