After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
