some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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