walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
