There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
