I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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