Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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