Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
