The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize