And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
