Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
