it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
