1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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