Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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