Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize