I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
