Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
