I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My bed smells like the plague
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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