a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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