their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
