awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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