Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
