U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
