So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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