Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize