Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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