One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
