Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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