do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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