Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
