I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
