alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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