I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
