I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize